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6 Reasons to Laugh this Halloween

There are scary movies and then there are movies that spoof scary movies. This Halloween, let's laugh more than we scream.

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6 Reasons to Laugh this Halloween

This Halloween I’d much rather be laughing than screaming when I watch a movie. Instead of having to decide between a comedy or a horror film, why not enjoy both? Watch a horror-comedy! Now don’t worry, there are plenty of movies out there to scare you. You’ve got your Chucky films, gore-fest stuff, the found footage flicks and your straight up freaky killer films. Just get onto your streaming service and I’m sure they’re not far off. Before you do, just make sure you check out the best internet deals and packages in your area. Because nothing is scarier than paying more for your internet than you absolutely need to. Right? For those out there who don’t enjoy the jump scares, blood spraying profusely from an artery, or that creepy guy who just likes killing people- you’re in luck. There are plenty of horror spoof movies out there. Like the Wayan Brothers’ with their Scary Movie series and A Haunted House films. Then there are the movies with horror creatures in them that are put into odd situations, like Warm Bodies. These are humorous twists on standard comedy setups. What I’m talking about are the movies that mock the clichés of the classic horror films. There are spoofs, which are over-the-top in their humor. And then there are these types of films which aim to tell an actual story with a humorous take on the “scary movie format.” Trust me, they are well worth your time.

Zombieland


Who doesn’t like Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin? This move teamed up with all four actors in a comedic look at the zombie genre. Instead of putting people into the usual “zombie outbreak set in X location,” it was a story about people. Jesse Eisenberg’s character, Columbus, is quite lonely. Although he’s survived the zombie apocalypse and is continuing to survive, it’s not the way to live. This is more of a metaphor for modern life, but we can save that analysis for the critics. The point is, Columbus must overcome his own “rules for survival” to make a human connection. And in doing so he’ll not only survive, but he’ll also find happiness. It’s also chockful of great one-liners from Harrelson; “You got taken hostage by a twelve-year-old?” “You ever seen a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?” “My mama always told me someday I’d be good at something. Who’s a guessed that something’d be zombie-killing?” And his catchphrase… which shall be saved for later.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It and Young Frankenstein

Thanks to a lot of Dracula movies being made, Mel Brooks decided it was time to spoof them all. Hence, Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Instead of finding an actor who would just parody Christopher Lee, Brooks went and signed on one of the best comedic actors ever- Leslie Nielsen. Best known for his role as Lt. Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun series, Neilsen was perfect for this role. He did the whole Transylvania accent and creepy act so well. We also can’t forget Stephen Weber, Amy Yasbeck, Lysette Anthony, and Peter MacNicol. And we can’t forget Young Frankenstein either. This was Brooks’ first spoof of a classic Hollywood monster, and the movie is full of references to other Frankenstein films. Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, Teri Garr, Cloris Leachman, and Peter Boyle comprise a stellar cast that put the horror classic in its place. And instead of doing it in color, Brooks went with the black-and-white to give that antique feel. It still has that old classic horror film feel but filled with antics that will have you crying from laughter. These two spoofs were done just right. Not too much over-the-top antics, but the just the right amount of absurdity to really bring home the laughs. “Oh, I was having a day-mare.”

Evil Dead 2


In 1981, Sam Raimi created an independent horror flick called Evil Dead. It was scary enough, with some inventive camera techniques and gore. But the film tried too hard to be scary and came off as funny instead. Riding that success, Raimi did a sequel/reboot of the first film with Evil Dead 2. It was the same basic story but turned into a comedy-horror film. So now it could be over the top and everyone was okay with that. And this is where Bruce Campbell got his start, as Ash Williams. When Evil Dead 2 took off, Raimi made a third movie to create a trilogy- Army of Darkness. And now Ash is known as a cult hero on par with John McClane and Indiana Jones. In 2013 Raimi remade Evil Dead as a true horror film. And now it looks like that’ll be getting a sequel too. Enough about that, what’s important to know is that Evil Dead 2 is meant to be a cheap-looking horror film. Thanks to Campbell, it more than delivers on laughs.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

With all these horror movies about “evil,” has anyone stopped to look at it from “their” perspective? This is how we get Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk, playing the titular Tucker and Dale respectively, are perfect for these roles. They’re just two hapless country boys who are trying to fix up their summer cabin, which also looks surprisingly like the cabin from Evil Dead. Anyway, a bunch of college students show up and start killing themselves. Or do they? As the two witless friends try to figure out what’s going on, hilarity ensues with several bodies involved. Be sure to look for how the normal horror movie tropes are NOT followed.

A Cabin in the Woods


While the previous five were out and out comedies, A Cabin in the Woods is something different. It satirizes the horror classics by making a dark comedy of what’s going on at this creepy-looking cabin. And yes, this cabin is similar to the one from Evil Dead as well. Apparently, there’s a certain type of cabin that’s scarier than others. I won’t ruin the end, but you’ll understand once you see it. Anyway, this film was made pre-Thor. Don’t be surprised when you see a thinner, more lean Chris Hemsworth. Along with Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, and Jesse Williams, these are the five college teens who go to “a cousin’s” cabin in some non-descript woods. Little do they know that they’re being watched by a shadowy no-name organization. The guys running this little operation are played by Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Amy Acker, and Brian White. To explain this organization would give away the entire plot of the movie. But know that Joss Whedon wrote the script with Drew Goddard, so it’s worth the time to watch it.

Laughter is Always Better

While a thriller is good for entertainment occasionally, laughter is by far a better choice. And with Halloween so close, there are plenty of chances to get scared, if you’re into that sort of thing. As for the rest who’d rather not create undue stress on their hearts, there are these comedy horror films. They’ll make you laugh and it’s been proven that laughter has more health benefits than screaming does. Underneath it all, you’re really doing something healthy for yourself when you watch a comedy. And not just any comedy, but a good comedy film.

Chucky is Preferable to these Films

There are scary films and then there are the truly terrifying films out there. Forget gore and jump-scares, there are truly terrifying stories out there.

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Chucky is Preferable to these Films

There are scary films and then there are the truly terrifying films out there. Of course, there are things that are scary; that creepy person who follows you a little too closely, someone walking up behind you and you not hearing them, and the odd bird or two that flies too close to you or your car while driving. These are scary, sure. They’re scary in the sense that they make you jump, or they play on the fear that someone or something is not quite right. In the latter situation, you worry that maybe you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Or are you? There are films that play on those fears. The fears that start out as blatantly irrational only to become eerily real. You know, films like Chucky. Of course, there’s no way a doll could be possessed. And you keep telling yourself that. Then there’s that one night you’re working late in a retail store and you pass by the toy section. At the end of the aisle is a display of little baby dolls. And just as you walk by this little display the lights go out. You hear the canned recording of children’s laughter. Then a footstep…

Cheap Horrors

That was a true story, by the way. I was working in a retail store right out of college and it was getting close to a holiday. As a result, I had a lot of clean up to do that night. The lights for the store were on a timer set to turn off at midnight. That little display I mentioned? It was hooked up to a motion sensor so that when people walked by, the little doll would wiggle and laugh to catch their attention. Well, when you walk by at 11:59:59 pm, the lights turn off as you trip the motion sensor. The store goes dark and little doll giggles and laughs. I have to remind myself of this every time I tell the story because it was just too much of a coincidence. Right? That’s cheap horror. The jump scares and the absurd amounts of blood that come gushing out of a wound. It’s a basic approach to scaring people. And it’s used a lot in horror movies. Rest assured, little baby dolls with canned laughed and giggles don’t terrify me. It was the situation that did.

Real Fear

Most of these cheap horrors are entertaining to watch. Mainly because the “fear” they present is due to an over-contrived situation. I don’t watch a lot of horror movies because I find the writing to be pretty basic. And if you’ve watched enough of them, you can easily pick who’s going to die, and in what order, within the first ten minutes of the film. But every now and then I end up watching a film or reading a book, that does send shivers down my spine. These films and books don’t deal with the paranormal or some cooked up and extreme situation. These are plausible. Not just possible, but plausible in that someone could pull these things off. And is most likely alive and well at this moment. After reading the book or watching the movie, I’m constantly reminding myself that it’s not going to happen. It’s not going to happen. It’s not going to happen. I may not sleep well that night either. Eventually, I do get over the fear and figure out how to live a productive life. But if you’re looking for some genuine thrills for Halloween, check out these films, and at least one book. You can download them through your favorite streaming service, so long as you have the best internet deals available.

Contagion

 

I grew up on the northern coast of California. When I was about ten, I think, a small city nearby was used as the main filming location for a thriller called Outbreak. I didn’t watch the film until I was well into my twenties because the thought of a real outbreak scared me. Luckily this film just focused on one town becoming infected and was more action-oriented. Thus, I felt prepared to watch another Outbreak-like film. Then I watched Contagion, directed by Steven Soderbergh. I was wrong. Contagion was not just one city but the entire world. The virus that causes all the death begins presenting with normal cold symptoms. And then people begin to drop rather rapidly. It didn’t help that Matt Damon plays the dad of a child who gets infected. He survives and has to protect his one other child as the rest of the world falls apart. Then there were the scenes of empty streets and mass gravesites. That just made it worse. Thanks a lot, Soderbergh. There were other storylines but identified with Damon’s role because I am a dad. And the fact that a virus could move that fast was also freaky. Really makes you think twice about washing your hands.

Seven


Directed by David Fincher, Seven walks the fine line between thriller and horror. The film does a good job of focusing on the suspense parts instead of the gore and horror. But that stuff’s in there too, so there’s no avoiding it. The dark cinematography, the grainy scenes, and the bad weather in LA contributed to the bleak mood of the entire film. I’m not one for gross-out types of horror. My brother talked me into watching it. And knowing my brother’s choice in films, I should have ignored him. But here we are. Anyway, the gross-out stuff was easy enough to forget. It was the serial murderer that made it worse. The fact that there was someone out there deranged enough to go those lengths just made me shiver. After all, Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre were based on Ed Gein, a real person who really did gross-out, disgusting stuff to a corpse.

Arlington Road


What makes Arlington Road so terrifying is that I watched it as a teenager, well before the 9/11 attacks happened. At first, I was just creeped out that my neighbor might be a homegrown terrorist. And then after the attacks, I was even more freaked out because it seemed even more likely that I lived next to someone who could do horrible things like that. You see, Arlington Road was about a professor, played by Jeff Bridges, who suspects his next-door neighbor, Tim Robbins, is a homegrown terrorist. As the story progresses we get a distinct feeling that Bridges is right, and Robbins really is planning an attack on a government building. A minor detail here is that they live in the DC area, and Bridges teaches at an area university. Of course, Bridges girlfriend doesn’t believe him. Then she disappears. It gets scarier from there, but you get the point.

Apt Pupil


I haven’t seen this film yet, but I did read the short story it was based on. And it was written by Stephen King. I also listened to the audiobook, narrated with the haunting voice of Frank Mueller. Unlike most of King’s other works, this one doesn’t deal in paranormal anything. Set in the early 1970s, a teenager, Todd, discovers a Nazi war criminal is living in his small town. Although he has convincing forgeries that give him the alias of Denker, he’s really Dussander, the former commandant of the fictional Patin Concentration Camp. Instead of turning him in, Todd wants to hear the “gooshy” details of what it was really like during the war. Todd thinks the textbooks have watered down everything. It’s not exciting to read about it. He wants to hear it from someone who was there, in person. In exchange for his silence, Dussander, AKA Denker, agrees and begins to tell Todd what he wants to hear. And then they both start getting nightmares. The nightmares turn into daytime “activities.” Soon both are spiraling out of control. Not only is the short story scary, but the audiobook is even more so. Frank Mueller, the narrator, reads it in a solemn, reserved tone. He also does a superb job of imitating a German accent. As Dussander begins to lose his mind, Mueller’s narration gets creepier and creepier. This is apparent in reading Dussander’s lines of dialogue. To top it all off, King has a character give a sort of “final summation.” You see, Dussander is on various watch lists, both in the United States and abroad. A Nazi hunter from Israel gets involved in the story. I won’t spoil the details, but this guy, named Weiskopf, has a chance to sit down with a detective and explain the cold reasons behind what made Dussander so efficient at his job. Dussander wasn’t sadistic to start with. He was bad, no doubt, but he wanted to rise in the ranks because he believed in Hitler. To please Der Fuhrer, he worked harder to make sure all orders were carried out “swiftly and efficiently.” Thanks to Dussander’s attention to detail, he figured out more efficient ways of carrying out Hitler’s “Final Solution.” This is why he earned the nickname “The Blood Fiend of Patin.” He found ways, through accounting, to make sure he met or exceeded his quotas. This is why, as Weiskopf explains, that if a government ever tries something close to what Hitler did, it’s not the psychos or the sadists we should worry about. It’s the accountants. Because they’ll find ways to calmly, coldly—efficiently—wipe out large portions of a population.

Save the MCU's Continuity with Bishop

With the Marvel Cinematic Universe continuing to grow, how can we keep up with it all? For this we call in Bishop, a character who can save the continuity!

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Save the MCU's Continuity with Bishop
With Captain Marvel set to premiere soon, the events of Avengers: Infinity War to contend with, and Disney buying out most of Fox Entertainment’s assets, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is getting rather large and unwieldy. To solve this problem, the MCU needs to bring in Bishop. For those who are not familiar with the Marvel character, hold tight, we’ll get to him soon. First, here’s the problem that he’s got to solve.

Continuity

Marvel and any successful comic book publisher had a handful of titles to start with. When those took off, they created years and years of backstory. With the X-Men, Avengers, Spider-Man, and similar titles, that history turned into decades worth of material. It didn’t stop there though. Characters were introduced and given their own series. And then more characters, some of them getting their own series too. Then came new teams. And then new lineups with old team names. Superheroes died, resurrected, died again, and then came back to life…again. Sometimes someone would die and another hero would take up their superhero alter ego. And when the original one came back to life—well—how do you tell the difference? This was all well and good for someone who was there from the beginning. If you got sick and missed a few issues, you had some reading to catch up on. Then there were those who wanted to jump on long after the series got started. You had to go find the first issues, read those, and catch up on the history. Or, in my case, my girlfriend needed to understand why I was so engrossed with these comic books. I was about to make her sit down and read them all, but she refused. To preserve our relationship, I relented and gave a quick synopsis to catch her up. And then we got married. And I stopped reading comic books. When I try to read a comic book these days, I just accept that I’ll be lost when it comes to backstory.

The MCU

When Marvel finally got their act together and made a decent superhero movie with Iron Man, they started simple enough. You just had one movie to track. Then came The Incredible Hulk. Soon the MCU had the same problem their source material had- continuity. While each movie does a good job of being self-contained, there’s still the larger MCU to contend with. Fans, both comic readers and non-comic readers, have a difficult time keeping track of all the storylines. Not to mention also keeping up with other responsibilities of life- jobs, families, basic hygiene and whatnot. As much as I would like to appear “above it all,” there’s part of me that wants to watch all the movies to keep track of all that’s going on. No matter how mature I claim to be, the comic-reading-kid inside me refuses to be ignored. For the time-being, I get by reading synopses. Don’t judge me. I’m not proud of it, but we all make mistakes in life. This is how I know what happened in Avengers: Infinity War without ever seeing it. Again, I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but rest assured, I have to deal with this shame every day of my life. Throughout all of this, I’m concerned with the continuity issues that are now popping up all over the MCU. There is also the possibility, however remote, that the X-Men will finally get to be involved with the greater MCU and stop being quarantined to their own little universe. If that were to finally happen, there would be a lot more continuity issues to handle. Will the MCU become too big to be sustainable? Then I remember that there’s someone who can help us with this.

Bishop

Lucas Bishop has been, and will always be, a man outside of time. Hailing from Aborigine ancestry, all the way from Australia, Bishop was born a mutant in some future from an alternate dimension. Being a mutant, he was branded with an “M” over his left eye. Although meant to forever brand him as an outsider, it actually gave him a cool character trait. Anyway, this mutant grew up hearing stories of the mighty X-Men and wanted to one day resurrect the hero team. It wasn’t for him, for the millions of oppressed mutants of his time. Long story short- he joined a law-enforcement organization from his time and began pursuing a criminal named Fitzroy. Fitzroy gained control of a device that allowed him not just to travel through time, but across dimensions. Bishop, ever the determined one, pursued him through his own means. Once he caught him, however, both men lost their ability to jump through time and space. Now Bishop was stuck in the “normal” universe.

The Continuity Saver

With Lucas Bishop as the guy who knew about various other dimensions, the character can serve a unique purpose- bridging the gap between universes. It also wouldn’t hurt to have him jump in and out of the other Avenger’s storylines. This would serve two purposes; 1) Get a quick refresher on what’s going on, 2) Serve as a starting point for newcomers. Think of it; an Avengers-style movie with all the big names, albeit in smaller roles than normal, getting to meet Bishop and tying together all the storylines in a less convoluted story. And best yet, there will be minimal effect on the other all continuity! It’s a win-win-win etc.

Who Will Be Bishop?

The only real issue will be casting the character himself. For those who’ve seen Bishop, you know not just any actor will do. I, personally, would vote for Denzel Washington. But if he’s too expensive, then there’s Sterling Brown, Michael B. Jordan, and Daniel Kaluuya. I’m sure there are more qualified actors for the role, but these three have already proven their skill in physical acting. Not to mention they pull off the gritty toughness that Bishop is known for. He’s not a carefree and aloof mutant who easily spouts sarcastic quips. BishopHe’s a serious man who says little. Casting decisions aside, the MCU should now have the rights to Bishop since Disney bought most of the entertainment assets from Fox Entertainment. So all that’s left to ask is- when are going to see the X-Men, and by extension, Bishop, show up in the Avenger’s storylines? Maybe I’m stating what others already have or asking a question that’s already been asked? But if more and more people are asking, then Marvel will have to give us a reality-hopping flick centered on Bishop. Right? Either way, I’ll have to make do with catching up on Marvel movies when I have the time. As soon as they show up on Netflix, I put it on my queue, or when they get put on the streaming option. You’ll have to do the same. But make sure that you’ve got the best internet deals and packages. This way catching up on all things Marvel will be a little more cost-efficient. In the meantime, what’s the best way to approach a Bishop movie? How would you write that story?

Are the Emmy's Relevant Anymore?

Every year there is a big spectacle of which TV shows are the best of the best. This is called the Emmy's. But are these awards relevant anymore?

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Are the Emmy's Relevant Anymore?
Every year there’s a big display of awards and speeches for television. It’s called the Emmy’s. This year, so as not to compete with football, the broadcast was shifted to Monday night. The goal here was to make sure those who also wanted to watch football would not have to make a choice between the two. Hopefully, the numbers would go up this year. They didn’t. Viewership for the annual spectacle was about the same as it had been for the last two years at 11.4 million. And that’s lower than five years ago. I’ll admit, I wasn’t one of those 11.4 million. But I did read about it in the news afterward. And that reading was interesting for two reasons.

Ties

Back in July, HBO received only 108 nominations while Netflix garnered 112. This seemed to signal a significant shift in the TV industry. For one, Netflix has been throwing barrels of money into their content production and it seemed to have paid off. Second, it made the long-running Emmy champion, HBO, look like it was past its prime, no pun intended. Yet, when the awards were finally presented, HBO and Netflix walked away with the same amount. So what does this mean? It could mean that HBO isn’t quite out of the game. Or it could mean that there’s still the “old guard” hanging on and they’re not about to let the upstart Netflix steal their money-making machine. Or it could mean that Netflix just hasn’t built up enough cred yet. Who knows. But back in July, this writer was ready to concede that HBO was no longer going to be the reigning king of television. It appears I was wrong. That stings a little bit. It doesn’t matter if you’re an HBO fan, a Netflix fan, a fan of some other streaming service, make sure you have the best internet bundles and deals. This way you at least save some money. Then you’ll get a front row seat for what’s coming next.

Are the Emmy’s Relevant Anymore?

While I noticed the tie between HBO and Netflix, a piece from The Verge caught my eye- “Hollywood had a Breakdown Trying to Justify Itself at the 2018 Emmy’s.” The author, Devon Maloney, argues that the Emmy celebration was an indication of how behind Hollywood is. They don’t seem to be moving forward or embracing any of the changes happening in society at large. Nor does it seem that the winners of this year’s awards are any more diverse than the previous years. Overall, Maloney argues that Hollywood is irrelevant. Maloney’s arguments are indeed valid.

Lack of Change

Recent reports have pointed out that although there has been more of a push for diverse actors and stories, this hasn’t translated to much change across the industry. If any at all. The Emmy Broadcast, from her point of view, appeared stunted and forced. Since I didn’t watch it myself, I’ll have to take her word for it. And given she’s been covering the subject much longer than I have, I’m happy to do so. But there’s one point I’ll have to disagree with. Hollywood may be irrelevant, but it’s so entrenched that we cannot simply remove it. As with any system that’s been allowed to build up over time, Hollywood has solidified itself in the socio-political environment. Think of it as a tree-stump; the branches and trunk can be removed, but the roots are still there. Removing the stump itself is the hardest part. Without expert help, you’ll more than likely make a bigger mess than what’s necessary.

The Right Skills for the Job

For example; back in college I helped a friend clean out his grandparent’s house and make it ready for sale. To do this, we needed to remove a large, and very dead, tree from the front yard. Of course, this was a task given to a bunch of college sophomores who grew up in the city. But three of those present had trucks. The common thought we all had was, “Hey, it's a truck, it’s strong. We just hook up a chain and pull and the stump should go pretty easily, right?” Luckily no trucks, or people, were hurt in the course of extracting the stump. But there was quite a mess when we were done. One college student tried and the stump didn’t budge. Another “wiser” student tried, and again, the stump remained unmoved. Although dead and irrelevant to the yard, and the house, the roots ran deep and refused to pack up and leave. After the third truck failed to move the stump, we pulled out the shovels and the axes and tried to cut every root that we could find. When we were done there was a huge hole with the stump in the middle. A lot of the roots jutted out from the ground, catching everyone’s feet as they tried to pass. But the stump was out.

What Are the Right Skills?

According to Maloney, Hollywood is irrelevant. Whether it should be removed or not, she’s yet to stand on that. But it’s clear that change must happen. Unfortunately, it’s an old tree that’s created roots in more than one layer of the environment. It’s not entirely dead though. I would argue that some parts need to go, but on the whole, the system still has some usefulness. It just needs the right watering and nutrition. But what? From my vantage point in San Antonio, TX, I have a few opinions on how to do that. I’m sure there are others, spread out all over the country, who have opinions as well. And as arrogant as I can be, I have to humbly accept that my opinions aren’t always right. So who’s to say which ones are the right ones? And which are the ones we should follow? There’s also the minor detail that those running Hollywood will not willingly give up the power, money, and comfort they’ve long been enjoying. So what’s the right way to change Hollywood? And if so, who’s going to lead that movement?

CenturyLink; Getting the Job Done

CenturyLink is consistently providing above-average services to both residential and business customers. They've got a few awards to prove it too!

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CenturyLink; Getting the Job Done

CenturyLink, based out of Monroe, LA, has been consistently working hard to help both residential and business customers stay connected. The argument could be made that all internet service providers (ISPs) do this. That is, after all, their main job. Because an ISP who doesn’t keep their customers connected will not be around for long. Despite this, there are still the okay, the good, and the exceptional ISPs. The difference between the ISPs who are exceptional, and those who aren’t, is not defined by awards. Sure, awards are nice. And it’s easy to point to them and say “we won that because we did X really well.” In fact, CenturyLink earned Frost & Sullivan’s Growth Excellence Award for 2018. And earned their Top Hybrid Service Provider in the Asia-Pacific region for the fourth year in a row. And that’s just naming the awards won for this year. But it’s not about the awards. The mark of a good ISP is when they can deliver this service without anyone noticing. In the ISP industry, as with many others, customers are quick to point out when things go wrong. Even if it’s a minor detail, there is always that “one” customer who will make a fuss about it. This is where the bulk of customer complaints/reviews come from. While these are helpful in deducing quality, they’re to be taken with a grain of salt. Reviews are usually written by someone who’s upset and wants to vent about it. As the old saying goes “You only notice it when it goes wrong.”


When It’s Obvious

Think of a college football game. There’s the team you’re rooting for, most likely your alma mater. If not your alma mater, then you’re most likely rooting for the team that’s playing against your most hated rivals. Anyway, there are the offensive players, charging up and down the field as they work to score points. And then there are the defensive players. These guys are tasked with keeping the other team from scoring points as well. They battle each other on the field, scoring, intercepting, kicking, and this is where the main action is. Throughout all of this, what’s the one thing in the background you can count on? The marching band. Each team brings their band with them to play the school fight song, covers of current pop hits, and other tunes to get the crowd involved. These bands work hard to do this every week. And these efforts usually go unnoticed. That is until someone makes a mistake. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFB7y5j8UWc


When It’s Not

CenturyLink is the band that’s not making mistakes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed_oZOiUwBM Go Warhawks! On a side note; I would have highlighted Texas A&M’s Fightin’ Texas Aggie Band. Not because it’s my alma mater, but because many of my in-laws went there. To keep peace in the family, I root for them when it’s appropriate. In this instance, however, priorities are different.


Back to CenturyLink…

CenturyLink, just like the Warhawk Band, consistently helping the team out on the field. And during halftime, they get to show off their stuff. But the “marching band” metaphor can only go so far. CenturyLink is not only working and earning awards for it, but they’re also helping their local communities. Back in June, they held a campaign benefiting Fight Hunger. By the end of the campaign, they’d raised over $2.4 Million for Fight Hunger. Beyond that, they helped during Hurricane Florence. CenturyLink offered free Emergency Call Forward to its North Carolina customers during the event. This service allows customers to forward calls to their wireless number to an alternate number. It’s a “just-in-case” plan for when residents need to evacuate or can’t get service to let their families know what’s happening. They may never use it, but it’s nice to have it for peace of mind. And CenturyLink provided this service for free.


By the Numbers

With a presence in 39 states and 7,339 zip codes, CenturyLink is one of the top ten largest ISPs in the nation. They’re working to expand that presence, hence, the recent merger with Level 3. CenturyLink is also expanding overseas. They have a presence in other countries and are looking to reach out into more. But let’s focus on just the United States for now. CenturyLink provides internet, cable, and voice services through three technologies. What they’re best known for is their DSL service, which is consistently ranked as one of the best in the nation. When it comes to fiber, CenturyLink has fiber connections in fifteen states, offering Gigabit Download speeds. Lastly, CenturyLink also offers fixed wireless. This service is available to both rural and urban customers. It’s a good option for those who don’t want a DSL connection, fiber is unavailable, and don’t want to go with satellite. Check out the best internet deals to find out CenturyLink’s availability in your area. The common complaint with ISPs is their speeds “as fast as” marketing. This means that the speed they’re advertising is not always the speed you get. When it comes to CenturyLink, they’re ranked in the top 60 ISPs when it comes to speed during peak hours. Peak hours are generally between 5 pm and 10 pm. This is when Netflix notices higher than average downloads through their service. They monitor each provider to see how fast they’re downloading during these times and post the results online. For CenturyLink, from August 2017 to August 2018, they averaged 3.31 Mbps for both their fiber and DSL services. This is a good score.


Businesses

On top of earning awards from Frost & Sullivan, CenturyLink was also named the top ethernet carrier in the US for 2017 by Vertical Systems Group. It was the first year that a network provider other than AT&T won the award. Thanks to a merger with Level 3, CenturyLink was able to vault from fifth in 2016 to first in 2017. By working with Level 3’s established connections and adding their own grit to the equation, CenturyLink came first over all. To earn this award, Century Link offers a wide range of business solutions to customers. Services like Networking, Hybrid IT & Cloud, UCaaS, Managed & IT Services, as well as security. For those small to medium-sized businesses, CenturyLink is a smart option. With an established ISP like CenturyLink providing a wide range of services, newer companies are in good hands as they work to grow.

Connect with CenturyLink

Even if you’re not a marching band fanatic, the fact remains- CenturyLink is working hard to help both residential and business customers.

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It is impressive, however, how drum corps’ work to choreograph and orchestrate these halftime shows. To do so takes a lot of time and effort to perfect the routine. Marching bands showcase this skill with yearly competitions, giving them an opportunity to shine. It’s too bad they don’t get as much attention as football does. CenturyLink, while not a marching band, is working hard to make multiple pieces move and work together with little or no issues involved. It’s not easy, nor should it be. And to earn awards means that someone’s watching. So if you’re in the market for a new ISP, be it for your home or your business, check out CenturyLink. It’ll be worth your time.